Simon Wilson New Zealand

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Location: New Zealand

Phew what an eventful couple of days. Just sitting here with a beer after a very nice driving adventure. Spent hours in the car today. Good hours they were. I left my iPod in Julie’s car so that sux. And my car doesn’t have a tuner so it’s been a quiet trip. But a good one! Have explored a lot of country today. Started off in Alex and drove up to... Naseby I guess, with many stops along the way. Edna – I went to Poolburn, but I’m not sure I found it... Well I found Poolburn itself, but not too much there. But there was a sign to the dam, so I thought that might be worth a look. However... after about 5km of the rough track and with another 10km to go.. I figured that I had seen dams before so I could give this one away.

Now talking of dams. Let me take you back a day. Oh – before that, let me take you back FOUR days. I know – doesn’t time travel just make your head spin? Right, it’s four days ago, Julie is still here. We are on our way to QTown to get some stuff. We wanted to stop for a coffee, thought a winery/cafe on the way might be a nice place. Now when you here ‘Gibston Valley Wines’ what do you think? Vines? Cafe? A bit snooty but very pleasant? Sitting in the sun sipping wine? Yeah so did we. So next time you hear ‘Gibston Valley Wines’ think of something else instead – remember these words and these words only: BAD BAD SERVICE! Say it after me children: BAD F#CKING SERVICE.

Firstly – lovely setting, no problems there, as you would expect, vines etc, ya de yah. It’s empty, the tourists must be late getting out of bed I guess.
“What would you like? Lunch?” (Are you f#cking crazy it’s like 9.45am or something) I know they don’t always like wasting a table on ‘just coffee’ but the place is empty and there are tons of tables outside.
“Could we just get a couple of coffees please?”
“Sure”
So out we go and get a picnic table outdoors. I wander about the shop thing trying to find a loo. Nothing. There must be one. Second look through entire shop. Wander back to serving girl.
“Sorry but is there a toilet?”
Irritated: “Yes at the back” Points vague unhelpful direction.
“Sorry, where?”
“Out there!”
I wander off and go through doors.
“Not there! Out the back!” Strike One.
Right. Round the back I go. No f#cking toilet. Getting pretty pissed off now. Ask other dude.

“Excuse me, where is the toilet please?”
“Right round the corner, can’t you see the sign?”
I wander right round the corner, and hidden on a wall of crap, is a small hand written sign showing the way to the toilet. I follow the sign up the vale and down the vale and eventually find it. Strike two.
Get outside and Julie says: “The service is bad!” I’m thinking: How did she know? But she had her own tale of woe. A different girl had told her to move to another table away from the ones she was setting. Not politely asked if she would mind moving, told to move. Strike three. You’re out losers!

F#ck them! I know they want to maximise profits by selling food, but how hard is it serve a couple of coffees? We would only have been there for 15mins and we may have come back. Not now. Gibston Valley Wines – you suck! I hope you go out of business and a large rock falls on your vines.
Ah that’s about all I’ve got time for now, my wrists are sore from this cramped chair thingy. Anyway, apart from the moan – had an AWESOME walk yesterday.

Found a big rocky hill and climbed straight up it. You remember Hillary and ‘knocking the bastard off?’ Very similar.
Followed a trail for a bit but it was going in the wrong direction. So went 4WD crosscountry. Followed a few rabbit trails through the thyme and kept heading skywards. Then I ran into a proper 4WD track so followed that up the last section. Made it to the very top and had an amazing view down to the next valley. Was amazing! But... It took about 2 hours getting up and it was 5pm, so figured I’d better get a scurry on to get back to the car. Had visions of stumbling around in the dark with only my t-shirt on as the cold mountain winds whipped about me...
No worries. 20mins down. Hehe.

Later,
Si.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Location: New Zealand

climbed a massive rocky hill. Hell it was almost a mountain. 2 hours it took me to get up, about 20mins down :-) Everything hurts. Even my arms. 7.30pm. In bed.
Night

Monday, 15 February 2010

Location: Alexandra, New Zealand

Julie has left to go back to work – someone has to keep us in the manner to which we have so easily become accustomed...
I am valiantly battling on alone, it’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. I’ve just had dinner so I’ve managed to survive that essential part of the day on my own at least. How did it go? Let’s do a brief review.
Man alone camping checklist:
Idyllic setting – sitting in one’s camp chair looking out past the willows to a meandering river sparkling in the warm summer sun – check
Power in the tent via the borrowed cable from the nice man so that I can sit here typing this on the computer – check.
Fancy pancy self blowy uppy bed – check (We went through all that yesterday, try to keep up)
Dinner in belly – check.

Dinner deserves a bit more a break down, I mean, are we talking ‘a hastily grabbed burger from the Scottish restaurant (McDonalds), or something a bit more substantial? Lets see:
A lovely cut of rib eye steak (scotch fillet in New Zild) accompanied by fresh corn on the cob with a dob of butter. Pan fried tomatoes and onions, and field mushrooms. With a side of fat black Greek Kalamata olives. And to drink? Sir will have a nice cold beer times two thank you. Will that be all? Not quite, sir would also like a cup of tea (Earl Grey) and a chocolate muffin for pudding thank you.
Certainly sir, will that be all? Yes thank you. I’m not paying for any of this by the way, and go away quickly will you because as soon as I have my cup of tea I’m going to read my book in my fancy and stupendously comfortable new fandangled bed.
Certainly sir, I wish you a most grovelling good evening.

Ahhhhh I am a contended man. Even if Iran decided to test their new Intercontinental Ballistic Nuclear Missile: “The Ajhmidindad 2000” (aka: the Butt F#cker), over New Zild, I would not be perturbed. My mission on Earth is complete, I have eaten the perfect dinner, I would die contented.

Well...... except Julie isn’t here, she would need to whip up here in the Suzuki if the big red button was pushed.

Talking of the Suzuki (Best car in the world) (Not to be confused with Ding the Subura – best OTHER car in the world), today we went off-roading. That car kicks ass! We basically just pointed it at a hill and followed our nose. I was a bit worried we might roll it at one point, but we were committed at that point so it was just ‘fingers crossed’ and we crept along the side of the hill wondering where we would end up if we rolled....

We made it obviously (or I wouldn’t be writing this) and ended up in a lovely little valley called.... Little Valley. Stunning. Just us and the scrub and a hundred million rabbit droppings. And.... hills and hills of sweet sweet Thyme which fill the senses to the point you can almost taste it. Actually I did taste some. Wonderful! Hillsides of the stuff I tell you! I also ate some wild berries yesterday. Blackberries I think. Don’t panic! What could possibly go wrong??!

Wonderful wonderful. Alex is fantastic. I would live here. Except... there is the small issue of... work. What I need is for some publisher to become smitten with my wit and inane adventures and offer to keep me in the manner to which I’m accustomed. Actually I need a patriarch, that’s what they are called aren’t they? A queen or someone who gives artists a stipend? (Actually I would need a bit more than a stipend but we can negotiate that later).

Right, that will do. Dishes must be done and then it’s cup of tea and off to bed. Did I mention I can get on the internet from the TENT???? I have died and gone to heaven.

Ps. Screw you Bertorelli – The Americas cup is going back to America. Haha suck that rich bastard. Now can we get on with the proper America’s cup again please so New Zild can win it back again fair and square? Thank you.
Si

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Location: Alexandra, New Zealand

Well hello there peoples! Long time no see. You see I’ve been ‘a workin. And when I do the workin, I no do the writin. The two just don’t go together so goodly. As you can see, my English skills have not suffered in the interim and now dear reader I have a wee tale to tell you.
So.... I’m in Alexandra. I have the week off work and I’ve come up to Alex to do... about nothing I reckon. Wish I could show you a picture, but I can’t be assed getting the camera cable etc etc etc. I’ll paint you one instead. I’m sitting in the back of the car, under the shade of a tall.... lets call it a weeping willow. We are in a small amphitheatre ringed by other willows. In our small ghetto is one other tent and ours. Right now a couple is walking past me on the way to the river for a swim. The dude is eyeballing me. He prob thinks I’m weird sitting here writing. I think he’s gonna get a punch in the snout if he keeps eyeballing me. Don’t worry about me chap, go swim with your lady. That’s it, keep walking ya ‘hear. Now where were we? That’s right, sitting typing.
Well we made it to Alex. Julie has a nasty cold. She is heaps of fun right now. A laugh a minute. Lucky I love her heaps so am keeping her well rested and watered. She is currently in the tent having a nap on our new air bed. What an air bed! It is one of those fancy pantsy ones that is double height, it comes up to about your knee. Queen sized too. And...!! The most awesome bit – it has a built in electric inflation pump. How F#cking cool is that?? It’s 220v so I’ve had a to scrounge an adaptor off the nice man at the campsite, but no dramas. We were using my old airbed until last night. We were absolutely pooped and hit the sack about 10 I guess. As you know with camping – there are no lights, so if something goes wrong you don’t just get to hit a light switch and sort things out. You fumble about blindly in the dark trying to find a torch, then when you have the torch, you fumble about holding the torch in one hand as you try to find... the hole in the airbed. Oh dear. The entire bung-structure was busted out. Not to worry, we had McGyver tape. So we made a new bung, taped it up, and went to sleep.
Well kind of went to sleep. Julie was all coughing and colding and snotting etc etc. So I decided it would be really helpful to toss and turn and stay awake too. We must have got some sleep because we woke up in the middle of the night on the ground. F#cking bed. We slept on the ground for a while before waking up one too many times and deciding it needed to be fixed. So off we got, pumped the bed up again, and hoped we would get another few hours out of it. We kind of did.
First thing this morning we drove to Qtown and bought the new flash one. Motorbikes here now. Better go, I really do look like a dick sitting here writing.

Later gators.

Si

ps. This is pretty snazzy - they have a wireless hotspot I can access from the tent! I am currently in my tent, on the new fancy airbed, typing to you, all wireless like, on the internet. Will wonders never cease?

Monday, 25 January 2010

Location: QTown

Gday,
We escaped in the weekend to Queenstown. It's only a 2 hour drive from where we are. We left a rather grizzley overcast Saturday and got in the car and drove. Certainly wasn't t-shirt weather when we left. We drove for about an hour and the weather wasn't looking too much better, lots of cloud up ahead. But... just a weeee bit further... and... Ah sunshine! Glorious ball of life giving goodness beaming down on us! Hallelujah! Oh the goodness of seeing the sun! And of being somewhere different...
Mountains, lakes, sunshine... ah bliss. We stopped off at the lake and had a swim. Well... Julie had a swim. I got to around... crotch height lets say... and that was enough for me. Holy crap that water is cold!
Not to worry, the sun was hot as the sandy beach was too.

Eventually (after about 3 months...) we got sick

bah - I never got that entry finished. Sorry about that.
Long story short - we had a GREAT day!
1- swam in lake
2 - wandered around QTown. I pretended not to perv at girls whilst Julie pretended not to notice.
3 - Julie bought some sensational sunglasses.
4 - We had a FANTASTIC dinner before driving home.
5 - Home in our own bed! Horraah, what could be better than that?

Sunday, 10 January 2010

HI all,

Remember me? I used to write a blog...

Let me say before I start that 12deg C is not a high - it's an insult. Summer? Pfff. What a sad sad joke. But not a funny joke, one of those jokes that makes you want to get drunk and cry a lot.

Invercargill is close to the South Pole. The wind has being blowing HARD from the South Pole all (the season formerly known as summer). And it's bloody cold. And Shitty. And rainy. And haily. That's right - HAIL!!! In SUMMMMMMEERRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Thank you for listening to my rant. Pity you poor fools who have the misfortune of reading this entry.

Right... onto to nice stuff...

Julie and I had a lovely lunch in the weekend with Dave from work and his family. He lives a little out of town and my what a garden he has! I'm loathe to admit it but I do have wee bit of vege garden envy...

In my vege patch - I've pulled out all the onions as they were going to seed, and I've made pickled onions! Hurrah! Nine jars of onion goodness.

To change tacks entirely without a segway - Nephew Jared and I have been spending quality time together. Quality online gaming time :-) He is hooked on Age of Empires as am I. We played twice today. It's gotten to the point where his mum (my sister) has told him he can't play tomorrow night. I mean fair enough, a nine year old can't be on the computer too much. But why is she punishing ME??? Hahahahahahahaha.

Right, more later. This maybe my writing come back. Or maybe not. You don't know. I don't know. No one does. Who knows?? Who cares?? Hmm

Back at work last week. It sometimes drives me nuts, it often stresses me out, but.... I love it sometimes! (shhh don't tell anyone at work.)

Later,

Si

Friday, 01 January 2010

Location: New Zealand

Well Xmas and new years have come and gone. Nice time with family up in Wellington. But I know you guys really want to know about Avatar don't you. We saw the 2d version in invercargill and loved it. So I was very much looking forward to the 3d version when we were in welly. We saw it and... weren't very impressed. The 3d is a bit distracting in places with the motion being a bit blurry and the whole movie looking noticeably darker than the 2d version.

There were one or two bits that the 3d was interesting, but on the whole I'd still say that 3d is not quite ready for prime time. It's ok... It's not bad... but it doesn't really improve the experience, in fact at times it detracts from the experience.

Go and see Avatar it is awesome. Great compelling plot, interesting effects but not too many of them. All good really. Great movie. But don't get upset if you miss the 3d version, it's no better.

bye,

si

Sunday, 20 December 2009

The Weather, the weather, ooohhh the weather...

It normally doesn't bother me too much, but holy hell this is supremely f@cking ridiculous. It's Dec 20, well past the shortest day and we have a high today of.... 12 deg. Twelve! Twelve??! Are you shitting me?

Sunday arvo. Quiet weekend. Have Lady Gaga 'Poker Face' on repeat. Man that song is stuck in my head. Weird.

Work is nuts at the moment stressful end of year craziness. And last year had one of the operators yell at me, storm out etc etc. Very unpleasant. He's a big guy too so a bit frightening to have him storm about. Anyway, what can you do right? Just learn from it the bits not to do next time, and then just get on with things. Could do more about it but it's just too late in the year and too much drama that I can't be bothered dealing with right now.

I fricken hate this time of the year. Everyone seems to lose their freaking minds. Am I the only one who notices how crazy it's all getting?? I hardly dare take the car out into town. I had three cars try to hit me the other day. Two of them remarkably similar situations. Both of them women reversing out of driveways into my path. What the hell???! Do they not think for one minute there might be a CAR there??? Driving along at SLOWER than the speed limit minding my own business. Who the hell reverses out without looking???! Like I say - I hate this time of the year.

Julie and I heading up to Welly on Boxing day. Looking forward to a break out of here. Hope no one up there expects much out of us up there - we need some downtime!

The garden sux, sux, sux. Because the weather is awful, awful, awful. Most of the onions are trying to go to seed already even though they are teeny weeny. The broc's have not put any fruit on yet even though they have huge leaves. The cat seems to think it's fun to climb up the side of the plastic I've put around the lemon tree. I swear I'm gonna hit that damn cat with spade soon. Ah I'm all talk, I couldn't stand the gore... He would be a lot more useful though as fertiliser than as a cat.

I hate cats. They are basically domestic terrorists. He got three birds last week. Did he eat them? Of course not. Just loves to catch them, torture and kill them. How the hell do people think cats are 'cute'? What's cute about a cat??

You see what this season has done to me? Turned me into a miserable cranky bastard.

Right - a bit of news now (I"m sure it will all be bad), and then out into the garden to pull out all the weeds which seem to be about the only things this year which are surviving the cold.

John - a trip to Dubai or Thailand is getting more and more likely...

Si