Location: SF, USA
Time is such a crazy thing and so it's relationship with growth and injury. Some wounds stay so long, long enough to forget and remember once more. It seems like just as they begin to heal, you begin to relax and breath deep, and by doing so you rip it open again so that it is exposed and uncomfortable. I feel like this sometimes with growth. As we change and explore we journey farther away from our origin and yet return to it, but do not recognize it as we once did. An old wound that has in time healed and become a scar is still looked upon as a soveiner, marking some place in lifes marathon, and with a simple glance can bring back a multitude of memories and sensations. As one searches through the infinite of life experiences past, it's amazing to me how one can vaguely remember the smart of such an injury by looking at the healed over flesh, that is only to recall that it was painful. Yet, at other moments without impromptu, one may ache as if the injury had just occured. A lovers laugh for example. When thought about with much effort, sometimes may escape us yet, during an evenings commute or the preparation of a meal it can be heard clearly for no apparent reason. I wonder what is the at the source of this illusionary madness. Does it stem out of our need to remember? Does the mind get lost in the division of time and hiccup occasionaly to pull one instant involuntarily back to a past venture? Or perhaps it is created by us to remind us of what is not present or what has not been resolved and therefore still causes us to suffer, like that of a wound protected by freshly grown skin yet still tender to the touch.
Location: San Francisco, USA
So kids I am finally back in town and well struggling with it to be honest. There is definetly a period of adjustment to be made after getting back. It's proving to be difficult finding my step here again, I think the hardest task presetning itself is trying to fit the new me in with the old life here in SF. It's crazy but with all the changes I have made and the different perspective i have, so much of the city life just dosen't feel right. As of now My options are to return in january to catch the school semester there in Brasil or to set up camp again. if I decide to set up camp i need to decide if i want to go back to school or find some other type of job that i can earn a living at and not absolutely despise. Ahhh the big questions of life awaiting a response. no pressure no pressure. I think out of all the things I took with me from my trip, patience is the most appreciated and the most deserved. This virtue being the most complicated for me in the past( ask any of my ex's) is finally becoming a trivial part of my day. The experiance there has truely changed so many aspects of my thining that the routine "community" life here seems to be so distant from anything I want, need, or even relate to. The stereotypes, the typical SF roles of butch and femme, and even the scheduled club nights over and over again, have already loss my attention. I guess I remembered them differently. I don't kids, I guess no really does. I just am trying to get back into the swing of things and not conform to anyone's idea of who or what I should be, something fairly easy to fall into here in the bay area. I didn't miss the weather here thats for sure and the prices of SF life are so absurd at this point. Right now I am staying at my friend lisa's house and if you would like to give me aring or meet up my number here is 415-585-0236. hope to hear from you soon and i hope all is well.
Location: Brazil
So yes I will be returning a little earlier then expected. hahahaha. OKOK so a lot earlier then I expected, but then again expectations were the only things I wanted to come without. So thinking I would find a job easily here in Recife, I swiftly learned that up here in the north the only really gig open to us gringo´s is teaching english. My mastery of the language of course no question(kkk) my timing, well as you all know, is something to be desired. My timing in life and love was maybe the only thing that didn´t change here as I arrived the same week as the school semester started leaving my earliest hopes of some finacial income postponed until Febuary. After my traveling, living and playing, there was know way I could hang that long without some reinforcement. Due to this issue, I will be heading home within the next couple of weeks. To be honest I am not dissapointed in the slightest as I have missed home terribly and feel that some good growth has come out of this trip. I also think I can work for a while and come back again in Febuary, but this time I would like to head to the South. Here in the north the states are poorer, which translates into less clean, less organized, and less educated. After meeting Cassio from Porto Allegre and spending some time in Rio and SP, I have come to agree that the north and south of brazil are like seperate countries. The South has much more style and culture, as well as much more money. With this much more music tours there and more people are traveled and educated. The people in the South are also much more beautiful, well in my opinion, there ethnic origins coming from portugal, europe, and argentina. Giselle, yeah she is from the south. And well the cariocas are eveything they say they are, both good and bad. I hope to experiance another Brasil later. I will miss so many things here. The music, the adventure, the food (coco verde, beer, cremosa, coffee, and lots more), and of course the people. But I have missed so many simple things from home. Peanut butter, fresh milk, baggy clothes, rum and coke, the other thing :), english conversations, and lets not forget about hip hop or the dancing. I have also missed our way of life and my daily routine there. I have spent so much time alone here that I have realized a lot about myself both good and bad. I have discovered that my motivation comes from being overwhelmed, and if I am left to do nothing I often do just this. I remember my dad´s friend telling me once, "if you want something done, give it to a busy person." I am finding that I work this way, and need someone busting my ass. I also found out some other things about how I interact with people, some things I really didn´t realize I did until I had this kind of time and this kind of trip. There is definte room for improvement, and well I guess this is what this trip has been about for me. Getting back to me and having the oppertunity to stop for five seconds and re-evaluate priorities and behaviors. We so often get distracted in the day to day and don´t see what we´ve become or how past values or goals have been lost or don´t quiet fit anymore. These things are what I have come to value here the most aside from the language and the adventure. These are the things I hope stay with me. I have learned so much and know I will do the same when I return, now having a diffirent perspective. When I know my flight details I will try to give a shout out. Man I miss ghetto slang. HAHAHA Can´t wait to see you guys. Later
Location: Recife, Boa Viagem, Brazil
So I will do two enteries to make up for the loss in time. It´s hard to get to the computer these days. Sorry? So my two months here in Recife have been both good and bad. While I did start some activities here, I also was bored a lot and I mean a lot. The only relief I encountered was when Mercia´s friend came to visit from the South of Brasil and as we were both tourist we went out a lot to look at the beaches and the boys and girls. I went again to Porto do Galinhas and I loved it there more this time around. we both ate our fill of fresh grilled fish and lobster, and all the while drank capirosca nevada´s a frozen vodka lime drink. It was marvelous and I managed to get a great tan. The beaches here are so diffirent for a number of reasons. They are so tropical and the water is so blue. The service is great because everything comes to you. Beer, food, menus, whatever you want they get and you never have to move a muscle. On the less tourist beaches they come around with caldinho´s de fejão. Small cups of a bean soup, with a couple of olives in it, bacon pieces and usually a quail egg which after much resistance I came to find out is quiet good. They sell nuts and grilled sticks of meat and cheese, hot dogs, fresh shrimp, oysters, and lobster´s. It´scrazy what they carry on there backs or heads on the beach. On the beaches with restraunts they have fresh fish they allow you to choose from before they cook it and all kinds of "fruits of the sea." I have been experimenting a lot here with fish, something I just began eating before I left and salmon was as far as I got. Here everything arrives fully intact head and all, so getting past that as well as a fear of the unkown with food, I am quiet proud of myself. I have eaten what look like small swordfish breaking the head off and chowing down like a BBQ rib. It was weird but delicious. I will definitely start eating fish more upon my return. Yucca is also big here with it fried like french fries, and mashed and baked like potatoes. Maxacara (I think this is how it is spelled on the menu) Anyway´s the food has been good and the beer better so I think I have gained a little weight from the SKOL. I have made a few more friends and have gone to some awesome private parties for birthdays with music, and great food, and of course beverages. I have met some cool people who have taken me around a bit to Orlinda and some live music shows for free in recife antiga. I saw Ana Carolina here live, solo, and accoustic. Saw some great art, met some cute girls, discovered how to use the bus system, played a little cappoiera and futebol, came to love Santa Cruz and Real Madrid, waxed my legs for the first time (yeah it hurts, but way smoother) and well learned how to drink enough beer to keep up with the best of them. But with all this fun my money has almost run out so I will be coming home soon.
Location: recife, Brazil
well finally, I have a minute with a computer. First of all let me say, that it is wierd not to be experiancing this tradegy with all of you. I am reading about the huriccane here, but it's weird not to be there and have life marker for this event. I hope all of your loved ones were out of harms way and that all of you take an extra minute to breath and enjoy life just a little more these days. As for my trip here, I have now survived the three month marker and am settling in a bit more. I have a few new friends and I can finally g out and bump in to someone I know. I started soccer last week as well as capeoira and now have successfully conquered my laziness and my first bout with a bloodblister. woo hoo. I am still a bit bored during the week, but at least I amm getting fit instead of fat. I also was getting a bit concerened with my drinking, so I am now trying to g a month without anything. Its so easy here to indulge in the pleasures of life because I don't have to be responsiable, it's not like I have a meeting in the morning with the boss, or something I can't possably miss. Wow that's a first. And as much as i was looking for a break from the stressful student/work life, now i actually miss it. It's amazing what a little time off can do. My only outlet for this new found motivation is studying portuguese, and reading whatever I can get my hands on. I once remember a philosopher saying (i think aristotle but possiably descartes) philosphy or rather epistomology is left to those of leisure because the common man is to busy to poor or possiably to stupid to bother themseelves with these questions, and i do believe I am possiably understanding this in a different way these days. Having so much time to fill has actually brought back my desire to learn, something I swore the last five years of acedemic imprisonment had killed for sure. I am enjoying just being here and being curious about everything, and finally now I have enough language skills and enough courage to find out about the city and this country by myself. I am missing things alot these days as well, and starting to think about staying for less time, although I am not sure if this is just my stress conditioned SF self missing the pressure and the thrill of being on for hours at a time. The world moves so slow here for me that sometimes I feel like I am living in a bubble here far a way from the excitement of my life there and that I am somehow missing out. I will try to call some of you soon, and I hope you are all doing well.
Location: Recife, Brazil
Sorry for the huge delays guys, but getting to a computer has been difficult these days. So here in Recife lots has been happening. I start portuguese classes this week and my percussion classes start on wend. as well. I am excited as I have been spending most of t ime reading harry potter and other books, as well as romancing a little here. i met a couple cool girls here and have spent a few nights having fun, but all in all i am enjoying my solitude and my freedom to stay open to all that I encounter. I have been going out a lot and have been playing sports here and there. My apartment is great and it's been an interesting experiance learning to get used to cold showers and washing my clothes by hand. wow talk about a work out. i swear washing yourrr own clothes is better than step classes. I have seen a couple of movies and am missing thee luxuries of home, but all in all am finally having a great time. i havee called some of you and wrote to others, and truely love hearing your voices. I miss all of you and will try to write more often about daily events and crazy girls. My new nummber here that is rather permanent.
My cell is 011-55-81-96458780. HM- 011-55-81-33257458. I will totally right more when I get a chance see you later guys.
Location: boa viagem, recife, Brazil
so I finally have my own place again woo hoo. it's super cool and has a great view. The first thing I did was go shopping and cook for myself. I also had someone over for dinner, which turned out to be great. I have started seeing her and she seems to bee fairly cool. Will write more later, wheen I have time. It was great to talk to some of you this week.
